We can’t count on much these days. But we can rely on one thing: whenever there is a speech to be made, a vote to be won, a crowd to be wooed, a country to be saved, there is a man wearing a tiny flag lapel pin ready to get the job done – and he’s from the country represented by that flag.

"This is the way the world ends," mused end of days wacko T.S. Eliot, "not with a bang, but with millions of bangs, mutant fish, organic kidney beans by the crate, top-shelf liquor, and a bear eating a fire hydrant." David Moscrop doesn't want to see you get hurt, so he's written you a to-do list in preparation of our mutual impending doom.

Drool-encrusted cheeks, flannel pajamas, the wild, challenging eyes of a person on the edge: that's the efficient procrastinator.

We've all been there, right? A long-haul flight has just begun, the cabin lights are dim, the sun is setting or rising in the east or west, and the horny couple beside is going completely wild in an R-rated make out. Wait, that's only ever happened to Shannon Gormley? She didn't like it.